I was finally able to run. Did four miles. It felt great. I had no pain in my back, my legs felt ready to go. I was so ready for this run. I was excited to run with Becky and Regina since it had been a couple weeks. But the vibe of the run just seemed off.
I tried to describe it to Jesi but there just wasn’t a way to properly articulate the feel of the run. Both Regina and Becky walked a bit more than usual. Surprisingly it was Regina who started to walk, but given that she had already done nine miles this morning pushing John and is having some issues with her Lyme’s Disease it was understandable. That being said, I just felt like we spent a lot of time walking.
Our usual easy conversation just didn’t seem to flow well. There were a few moments when it felt combative. I will admit that I get frustrated when I am interrupted or I can tell by the persons reaction that they didn’t fully listen before replying with their opinion. It just felt like a mentally hard run and it shouldn’t have been.
Add to that, we spent quite a few minutes at intersections trying to decide which way to go rather then just going. And when we decided on a route that brought us back to the beingingg with three-quarters of a mile left before we hit four, Becky seemed ok stopping and arguing that my GPS wasn’t accurate (a standard argument when she is tired and doesn’t want to go more). I was a struggle to get the four in and it wasn’t a result of how I felt physically. It was just a struggle.
I genuinely think the root of the issue is that we have vastly different goals and view points. Becky is focused on just running for running sake, she has no desire to do anything more than a four mile training run a few days a week. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that goal. However, when it is so different from my goal of training for a specific time and distance and race it can put in some disconnect on the purpose of the run.
I have found myself lately setting a purpose for each run; beyond the number of miles that need to be completed. It can be something such as run ## minimum number of miles before walking or it can be make sure to stay at a certain pace. I try and have some other purpose in addition to a generic mileage goal. To me I am finding that my Thursday runs are less and less purpose oriented and more and more frustrating.
I wouldn’t go so far as say it is a waste since I am still getting my miles in and I’m getting training done. But it’s not a fun training session since more times than not and it puts me in a bad head space. I haven’t decided completely what or how I am going to handle this issue. I know with choir resuming shortly it’s going to make the Thursday evening runs even more stressful-especially since we spend so much time walk/stopping for dogs/lollygagging along.
Perhaps my best bet is to step back from my Thursday runs through the marathon and return after, when my focus will be more about maintaining my body than maintaining a race pace. It is a difficult decision that I struggle with because I have run with them for so many years now. But I am finding that our perspectives have changed. That’s not a good or bad thing, it just happens. I think with the change in perspectives and focus comes some discord. I need to figure out how to best handle the discord.
I will see what shakes out of my dome piece as I run and contemplate the various aspects of my week. Hopefully I will come up with a solution that allows me to maintain my friendships and continue my focused training.
Have you ever had a change in training team dynamics? How did you handle it?