After running with John yesterday I spent the evening and most of the day today thinking that I have perhaps found a purpose to my running. I have always felt (and said) that I run because I was told that I would never be able to again. It was my way of thumbing my proverbial nose at the establishment.
Now that my health issues have taken a backseat to most things in my life, I have felt that I need to redefine my purpose. As I began to run for the Semper Fi Fund, I realized that I was defining my purpose as one that focused on others. I have quietly made my purpose for running a desire to run for those that can’t.
There is a part of me that feels this new purpose is slightly egotistical.
“Who am I to represent those that can’t run?” A question that my inner voice asks.
I don’t have an answer to be honest. But I just feel compelled to run-to represent those that can’t because I have been there. I have been trapped in a body that refused to operate as it should. I have had to sideline my dreams and goals because I had a body that did not allow me to follow through with them.
My journey is still continuing-I still am not where I want to be and I still have setbacks as a result of exhaustion and a body that is more prone to injuries and pain. But I keep moving forward. While I can run-there are many that can’t that would like to. Because I can, I should.
The truth is, those that can’t would love to run, even at the slow pace that I complete most of my races in. I feel grateful that I am able to do what I do-personally I would like to do it better but I recognize that to others what I do is sufficiently excellent.
And it is for those, that I run for. Those that can’t but want to. Training for the Semper Fi Fund and running for the injured service members pushes me forward to not give up even when I want to.
In my brain this sounded far more philosophical and well put together-as I reread it, it sounds flat and self serving. I am in hopes that the intention and desire is clear. I just want to help those who can’t.