I didn’t want to. But I did it anyway.

I struggled to get up this morning. I tried to compromise with myself. Tried to reason away going for a run.

“6 miles is too much to do before work”
I slept like crap last night, just a little more sleep would be better”
“I can make the miles up *insert any idea you can think of*”

Eventually I gave up the self struggle and got up. I got dressed and headed out. My desire to forgo running had as much to do with my struggles with sleep as much as concern about the distance I had to go. It’s only six miles, BUT it was six miles in the dark along a path that typically has some interesting people. I’m often a little nervous about running solo in the dark when I know there is a higher than normal potential for issues. It is the worrier in me.

As luck would have it, my concerns were somewhat assuaged by the fact that apparently Wednesday is trash day downtown. The normal desolate street was alive with activity and very friendly trash collectors (Sanitation Engineers, I’m not sure what the correct title is-an aside that is not meant to be snobby but a genuine concern for proper etiquette and naming).

I was slow today. My legs felt heavier today than yesterday morning and I realized about half way out that I should have eaten at least a little something before embarking on the run. Three miles fasted is one thing, six miles fasted wasn’t one of my better ideas. But alas, I chewed my gum and listened to Lauren Graham talk about the first couple seasons of Gilmore Girls as I ran an extended lap this morning. By the time I hit 2.5 miles I realized my morning time was beginning to slip away. I realized at 2.75 that I wasn’t going to be able to make the full six and still have enough time to get ready for work.

I turned around and made my way back to the house. I was disappointed that I didn’t make the full six but realized that I will be running at least four tomorrow which is a mile more than my schedule says. More than anything, I got up and did it when I didn’t want to. I did a decent size run before work which I will admit I’m proud of myself for doing.

Truth be told I have always felt I wasn’t a good enough runner to do any substantial length in the morning before work. I thought I’m not a serious enough runner. I don’t have the talent. While I wasn’t as fast as I would like this morning, I pushed the envelope of my own expectation beyond what I thought possible. For that, I am proud of myself.

Not only did I get to work on time but I had met and exceeded my step goal before I even got to work; my lunch time walk was just a nice addition to the day.

Pushing yourself when you don’t want to is what leads to success. It is the attitude at the beginning of a hard task that is what impacts the outcome.

Happy Running!

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